Edinburgh Festival August 2014

Oh hi babeszszz!

I am on the train to Edinburgh for the fringe festival! I’m two hours in and I’ve had two double gins whilst watching a film with Ronan Keating in, so needless to say I’m very content. I’ve also had a piece of very dry chicken, some crisps and two wees, so all in all I am really making the most of the first class experience.

Anyway, what I want to say is that I will be performing my first solo hour comedy show ‘Elliementary’ from 1-22 August (not 11) at midday at The Counting House.

If you’re going to the fringe I’d love it if you came along. My show is free and unticketed entry but it’s best to get there a little earlier (maybe 1130/1145) as the room is small and there’s a chance you might not get in unless you’re an early bird.

Obviously, if you aren’t coming to the fringe and have no idea what I am talking about, just try and carry on with your lives really.

(There is a family with a toddler in the seats next to me on this train. I’m trying to pretend that I find the child’s incessant squealing adorable. I give it ’til Berwick ’til she’s ‘accidentally’ gotten herself locked in the disabled toilet.  See if your interactive Peppa Pig game can get you out of that you little shit.)

OK. Must go. Lady with the drinks trolley is coming back and I plan to secure some mini voddies and a banana out of the exchange.

PLEASE COME AND SEE MY SHOW. OK. COOL. THANKS.

PS if you came to see one of my previews in the lead up to all of this nonsense, thank you SO MUCH. You were all brilliant. (Unless you were the drunk man who turned out to be funnier than me in the Midlands or if you were the leak in the roof in Brighton that slightly upstaged me, in which case, screw you.)